RoadTrip Journal 08.20.05

The terrible thing, the almost impossible thing, is to hand over your whole self – all your wishes and precautions – to Christ.

-CS Lewis

I’m now in Denver, spending a week with my cousin Jim and his family. It’s been wonderful getting to know him again after 20-some years, as well as meeting his wife and children. It’s a little hard to make the transition from cousin Jimmer to Dr Chapman, but I’m managing with only the occasional snicker. It’s been wonderful investing in these relationships, and though it’ll be that much harder to drive away from people I’m growing so connected to, I’m committed to the concept that ultimately the loving is worth the losing. As I mentioned in my previous letter, I was struggling to find temp work in Southern Colorado. I eventually decided to work at the Royal Gorge Bridge and Park where my mother works. It’s a tourist attraction including the highest suspension bridge over water (1/4 mile), the longest aerial tram (1/2 mile), and the steepest incline railway (from the rim of the gorge down to the Arkansas River), a favorite of John Wayne’s when he filmed movies in the area. It’s a regular playground of horrors for the height-aversive like me. I had, quite possibly, the two best positions in the park. For two days I was the photographer for the Old Time Photos, and the airbrush tattoo artist the other two. Both allowed me to nurture my creativity. On the flip side, I haven’t had so small a wage since I was 16. It was very humbling, and I’m sure will seem a much more romantic chapter in my trip in hindsight!

One layer of this journey is the exploration of the limitations of my character and strength. Two events of significance have occurred in the last month. The first is that I hardly complain of my intolerance to heat unless the temperature reaches triple digits (Side Note: I’m heading for Cincinnati’s heat and humidity next, so I may need to revoke this statement at a later date.) Second, I had set a goal for myself to come back through camp at the end of my trip to try the King Swing, a contraption with a harness that allows one to be raised 85’ into the trees, then released, hurtling through a clearing in the forest. The Royal Gorge has a more extreme version called the Skycoaster. It’s 100’ high and actually swings you out over the gorge at an approximate height of 1300’. Long story short, I did it…twice. I have photos to prove it, for you disbelievers. I used all the other features of the park to incrementally desensitize myself to the concept of height, as well as some other cognitive therapy tricks I learned in school. So, I’m not sure if I’m still afraid of heights or not. We’ll see when the next unplanned height obstacle presents itself…

As far as the direction God is leading me, I can only say that I’m not feeling significantly pulled back toward California, but still feel the draw of points unknown. I don’t know how long that will last, and I have no difinitive plans yet, but I’m still very excited to see all the friends and family who are yet to be visited. I miss you California people, and hope you are well.